Cool Tool I Want

I don't think this exists, but it should!  I want a tool that manages my hardware inventory.  But wait...I want more!  Besides keeping track of the "simple" stuff like machine brand/model, serial number, memory size, processor speed, and all such things, I also want it to keep track of who the machine is currently assigned to.  And what office they are located in.  If the tool is smart (which is what I want), then I should also be able to determine what data jack is in use in that office, and ultimately what switch port is associated with that data jack.

In other words, I want to be able to look in just one place and identify strange stuff.  Examples:

• There sure is a lot of chatter on port 37 of the switch in IDF3.  What's connected to that?
• Joe Smith is moving into office C1234.  What data jack is already hot in there?
• How much memory does Bob Jones have in his machine?  (note, I don't want to have to search for what machine Bob Jones has...I want to get there in one shot)
• Does Sally Barnes have a gigabit network card?
• List all machines that have less that 1GB of memory
• Identify any systems that are more than 42 months old

Currently, we keep these different types of data a lot of different places (mostly in spread sheets, I'm embarrassed to admit).  I'm looking for just one thing that pulls all this data together, such that there's no way to have the same machine assigned to two different offices, or to have a switch port, with a cable in it, and activity on the port, and absolutely no idea what's connected to it.

For this tool to be really Cool, I'd want a lot of it to operate in a self-discovery mode.  Yeah, I know, that's tricky, but it's my wish list, right?  A great bonus -- let me keep track of things like phones in the same database.  Then I could answer questions like "is there a computer in the same office as extension 2245?"

Stretching even further, what about keeping historical information, so I could do queries like "what happed to the computer that Bob Smith had a year ago?"  Or "has Sam Jones ever had a MAC?"

And, of course, the tool has to be very easy to use and not cost a lot.

Want to add to my wish list?  Want to suggest something that fulfills my dreams?

Comments

[Andrew Norton]

Though it didn't meet all of your criteria, I had an Access database that tracked much of what you listed, including what programs were installed on each machine. Unfortunately, due to the labor of keeping it updated, it fell behind and thus, no longer useful. I went to Microsoft SMS instead, but it too hasn't been as great as advertised.

[Justin Moore]

All I know is that I want a copy too.

[Shellie]

Andrew, I would love to see the structure you had on that access database.

Shellie

[Will]

Some of the desktop management systems may include the functionality you need. For example, I would look into scriptlogic's products and their flagship solution, desktop authority. It has very powerful software and hardware inventory feautures.

http://www.scriptlogic.com/desktop-authority-software-inventory.asp

In addition to predifined inventory reports that can cover a lot of criterias that you've mentioned, you can create your own ones with any parameter you want.
I hope this info was useful.